1.27.2006

Remember, that one time...

Someday, Apple might send a new powersupply to a local apple dealer and I just might get my computer back in my possession. Until then, no graphics... will words be enough?

A little while ago I wrote a little song. It was all about shallow love... to start. You can listen to it on MySpace (click on the song "Time I Was Sensitive") if you want. It is really rough, I just wrote it and put it up in little more than a couple hours I think. Don't expect too much. The subject manner being shallow love, to start. I was thinking about people, and how I think a lot of times we are out for experiences, and not the journey itself. More specifically, we have a tendency to want to experience everything, once. We develop these long lists of things that we pursue to the point that we have a claim and then pursue another. If asked I will probably claim both as active pursuits, but am I really pursuing it. For me, I don't really think I could honestly call myself a painter anymore. I have done it, I studies it in school, I sometimes do it a little, but it isn't really a steady pursuit anymore. I work more in computer graphics than paint these days.

I think a lot of times this can manifest itself in so called "Extreme Sports," because we are soooo extreme. It is done once, and forever on the resume of things to talk about. I don't want to confuse this with me attacking these actions. There is nothing wrong with it, it can be a fun experience... but when I was writing this song I thought that it would be funny to sing from the same stand point and direct it towards love. "Remember the time I was Sensitive... Remember the time I had integerity... and the time we said 'I do'." I don't think, or at least I hope this type of love isn't rampant. I thought it would be a funny way to examine the way we view life sometimes.

When I think of times past, I think of the longevity of peoples actions and choices. When people entered a career it was for life, when people took up passions and hobbies it seemed to stick for a large duration of thier life. I could be romanticizing this, as I frequently tend to do, but I think we are prone to attack life and passions with a vivacious ADHD type mentality at times. We want diverse experiences and a long list of accomplishments with minimal effort. Or at least, I find myself in that situation. This song is a good example. I wrote it in a short time, and really haven't gone back and polished it up yet. It could use it... but I haven't.

I am glad that there are a few things that I do come back to over and over again. I am glad that many things are enjoyable still when we do come back and revisit the experience, or one similar. When I set apart a day to just paint, I feel good. When I am able to revisit my roots in an activity I feel a reconnection. I am sure that is why I have returned again and again to lead canoe trips at a summer camp that I thought was going to be a one summer gig. I love to just work for the summer in a capacity to me that seems simple and meaningful. I have always admired people that were passionate and focused on simple things, and content and skilled in thier area of expertise.

I need to do this more often with the passions that I have in life. I need to revisit them again and again. I need to record more and develop more than just a simple knowledge about it. I need to apply this to my work, I need to apply this to my interests, and most importantly to relationships. So I guess in the end it is about relationships again (not just romance, but relationships in general).

What are the roots that you like to revisit?

8 comments:

David said...

i like revisiting musical roots. lately i've been really impressed by artists that came before us, but have obviously influenced our perception of music.

it's so fun to listen to the beatles, the stones, bob dylan, diana ross, and see how pervasive their unique styles are. i really enjoy it.

aisy said...

my hair roots don't need any revisiting... that's the nice thing about not dying them.

hmmm other roots? my cello has been yelling at me recently, so i need to start lessons again STAT. being far from home has brought me back to telling family stories etc that always make me smile. those are roots i never plan to loose.

mr p. i've been listening to emmylou a lot recently. that makes me think of my folks, which makes me smile.

Rebus said...

maybe it's the rain talking (day:40) but i would have to say retreating to my mountain (mt.mitchell-sw of st. helens). sitting atop, the sun's brilliant rays warming my face. the wind blowing my hair round my face. the old friend that allows me to be me, open and accepting. reminding me of late summer adventures with my brothers, the day hike to frigid black hole falls. no worries of the outside world in sight.

yeah, that would have to be at the top of my long list of many...right now.

ngharker said...

AHHH music, instruments, and mountains. I feel like i could revisit all your roots with ease as well. Its a good thing we are friends, or it might be awkward and crowded.

aisy said...

the beauty is that it would never be crowded atop a mountain with music and instruments. my cello teacher did this one gig where she was playing her cello on a mountainside. the vision has always stuck with me and i think "maybe one day." there are a few places i would love to just play a sad song... a mountain is one of them.

Anonymous said...

i would hope the world sees me as a poet and an artist even when i havent published or painted anything for years. i am a mother and that is everything right now. i fight inside myself to supress all else. if a let my passions out i wouldnt be focusing on mothering which is more important to my children. im banking for the day when they dont need my spare time anymore. but i do have singing, because that doesnt take any time, it doesnt make a mess, and i could join you on your mountain top and add my voice. I bet my kids would like it.

ngharker said...

yup... i in no way want to belittle others pursuits and especially those that have such and impact. I was more commenting on the fickle nature we have sometimes of doing things once... in order to put it in our list of accomplisments. i think motherhood definitely falls in the category of an ongoing pursuit that merits all the same praise if not more for the sheer size of the endeavor and the quality of its impact.

Anonymous said...

thank you graham.